Dear Abby: Last year, my across-the-street neighbor backed into my car. At least, that’s what I think happened.
My car was parked legally on the street, and there was a huge dent in it. I called the police and, based on the location of the dent and the neighbor’s driveway, the officer determined that the neighbor had backed into it. Furthermore, light blue paint from my car was on her car’s bumper.
When the officer went across the street, the neighbor came running out screaming at him. She was hysterical and belligerent, and she denied it. Eventually, the officer told me that even though he was certain she did it, there was nothing he could do because it was her word against mine.
I had never met this woman before, but she is mean, and I often hear her screaming and cussing at her small children. Last week, I arrived at work to discover that my company had hired a new clerk. I’ll give you one guess who it is. I don’t think she realizes I’m her neighbor. I must interact with her often at work, and so far, I’ve been professional but chilly toward her.
At some point, she’s going to see me in my yard and realize I’m her neighbor. Should I clear the air now, or should I pretend it never happened? I’m still angry because she cost me a lot of money. – Angry Neighbor
Dear Neighbor: I see nothing to be gained by “clearing the air” with someone you know is emotionally unstable. Let it ride, keep your distance and remain cool. If her problems manifest at the office, she may not be there long. And at home, stay away from her and her driveway.
Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years. We live together along with my two older sons, ages 30 and 33.
He doesn’t spend much time with me because he’s either working or hanging out with the guys at the bar. I do have jealousy issues. He looks at and talks to other women when I am with him.
My former husband used to be out every day until late in the evenings until I caught him cheating with my best friend. It’s hard for me to trust again. I truly love my boyfriend, and I don’t want to lose him. Should I be jealous or let it go? – Undervalued in Indiana
Dear Undervalued: Your insecurity is something you need to work on because your jealousy could drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend. If his looking at and conversing with women were a threat to your relationship, it’s likely something would already have happened.
Did your former husband look at women and engage them in conversation? I have a hunch he didn’t do it openly. That your best friend helped him cheat was another betrayal, for which you have my sympathy. But please don’t project their sins onto your boyfriend.
Talk to him. Tell him you need more time together. Make plans for a regular date night and arrange for your sons to be absent. If you still don’t have enough of his company and he likes hanging out with his guy friends at the bar, consider tagging along occasionally.